No one’s gonna tell you when enough’s enough:.

There's a famous quote from The Dark Knight that reads, "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain", and something like that happened to me last night.

I organised a traditional night of blood and war to celebrate my 29th birthday. Nothing fancy, just some Call of Duty 2, chips, beers, and some friends from my laboratory. For a while I could tell that I was really (really!) rusty, but eventually it all came back!!. The rush of aiming, shooting, and running in that classical WW2 environment is just amazing. However, I soon realised that I had turned into the kind of player that I hated some years ago.

Let me explain. Back when I worked at Quarksoft, I used to play CoD2 every day or so in a nearby internet café, after the afternoon meal and just before going back to work. Those were the good times =). Usually it was only my work colleagues and me killing each other, but every once in a while we would get challenged by other guys, and well, we usually accepted just to save our honor!. Even if we didn't win, it wasn't a slaughter either, so we ended up having a good time.

Anyway, one day a young man, I'm guessing less than 14 years old, asked us to play with him, and this time, it was a real slaughter!. That guy was really good, he didn't need bullets to kill us, he would just kill everybody else with melee attacks. For those who don't know, this is kind of a humiliation!. After the fourth time in a row that you're killed that way, you get mad and just want it to stop, but can't do anything about it, because you're not in the same league as the other guy. I just hated the way that guy was taking advantage of all of us...

And yesterday, I was acting precisely like that guy!. I would just silently chase the other players and then suddenly shout "Turn around!, Turn around!!", and when they did, I would just kill them in that old melee style =). Sometimes, they decided to run, but they just delayed the inevitable, 99% of the times there was no way to scape my melee attack.

Was it fair? Yes. Was it funny? Yes. Did they hated me for doing that all night night long? Probably. But now I know how that 14 year old guy felt like some years ago =):.

And the clock kept ticking slowly,
and you leaned over and asked me,
if I even had a clue where I was.

I'm on it:.

Today I had an interesting conversation with my laboratory colleagues, regarding the main motivations in life. Not surprisingly, we discovered that we all value different (different!) things in our own lives.  For some, the main motivation is money, for others it's love or health, but for me, it's definitely freedom!!. 

However, I learned long ago that freedom is really expensive, and that not everybody is willing to pay the price to get it. Even me, I know that I'm not really free, at least not as long as I don't get rid of some addictions, but as I told one of my colleagues today, the first step of achieving a goal, is to know what your goal is...

The conversation went from philosophical questions, such as this, to more practical stuff, such as, where are you going to live?, and what are you going to eat, if you have no money to spare!?. 

Nonetheless, I still think that the only thing that matters in life is to be able to be master of your own decisions, or like William Ernest Henley would say, to be master of your own fate, to be captain of your own soul!. I don't know, maybe I say these things because I think that after all, we are all going to die the same way we were born: alone and without nothing to hold on to...

So, just enjoy life while you can, with the people that mater the most to you right now =):.

We're gonna live it up,
I promise,
just hold on a little more.

No te echaré de menos en septiembre:.

Like most of my generation, I had my first lessons about nationalism while being forced to both, sing the mexican anthem, and salute our flag every monday morning...for at least 12 years!!. As a result, every time I listen to the mexican anthem I can't help but feel a lump in my throat, and a tear sliding down my cheek =). 

However, ever since I was a teenager I decided that if I ever felt like crying, it would be for something I decided myself, not because of something that had been programmed in me. And so, my quest for something to cry for began...

I first tried girls, but I soon realised that very few people outside your family deserve any consideration at all. Soon enough, life gave me the reason, and I first realised what it meant to never see one beloved member of your family again...The following times were all family related, but some years ago I also discovered the effect that music had in me, and it changed my life!. Long story short, I tend to remember the last 10-15 years of my life not by events or people, but by the music that I liked at the time!. 

And why do I tell this?. Well, there are some bands that don't speak not me, but to my core, and that sometimes make me feel so overwhelmed, that I can't help but feel a tear sliding down my cheek!. Last week I saw two of these bands live, Sigur Rós and Beach House, and for a moment, I just felt...I dont' know...happy =)...

However, I also kept thinking that this kind of experiences are meant to be shared with someone you (really!) care about. However difficult it is, I'm still looking for that special someone that could appreciate these little things, the way I do...

Será como aquella canción de los años 80,

seré como el tipo que algún día fui.