Now you know who you are again:.

About a month ago I was talking with my family about how different our lives would be if we had taken different decisions at key points in our lives. There was no consensus, but one of the main ideas was that it's not always easy to identify these key points in your life. That is, you can only identify these moments long after you've experienced them, so in the end there's no need to worry about them, you just have to enjoy life in the best way you can =):.

Anyway, during these conversations I put myself as an example. Back in 2004 I was enrolled in a University that highly encouraged to study abroad during your career, and so, in the verge of my last year at school I tried to enroll in a 6-month program in a canadian university. However, due to some last-minute administrative problems I couldn't complete the process.

I remember being quite annoyed at the time, because I thought that it would be my last opportunity to study abroad during my bachelor degree. But just a few weeks later, my University published a new opportunity to spend the summer in Budapest, working in artificial intelligence (AI) and web application development. To be honest, I didn't know much about Budapest or AI, but I did recognise that this would be my last opportunity to study outside Mexico for a long time, and I signed up as quickly as I could!. This experience opened my eyes (both in a professional and in a personal way), and I remember saying that I would do everything I could to go back to Europe in the future.

I finished my bachelor degree and went to work at a good company in Mexico city. But then the time came where I felt I needed more challenges and started looking for new opportunities. I saw this particularly interesting job offer in the school system, to work in Spain, and applied right away, though I knew it would be really difficult for me to get the job. Surprisingly, the company contacted me for an interview.

The interesting part is that I refused to go to the interview!. I called them back and told them that I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave my job and that I didn't want them to waste their time. The Human Resources person could have just said that it was OK, but she insisted so strongly that in the end I accepted to go to the interview (Actually, it was her pledge, and me remembering my stay in Budapest the last year). In the end I got the job, and went to Spain for a couple of years.

I don't know, at that time I had a relationship that could've turned into something really serious, so it makes me wonder what kind of life would I be living if I had stayed in Mexico 6-7 years ago. The truth is that it doesn't really matter now. Due to my spanish experience I decided that I eventually wanted to go back to Europe (again!), which I did back just a few years later.

What would have happened if had studied in Canada in 2004?. What if Sherinny hadn't being with me during the summer of 2005?. What if I had turned down the spanish job in 2006?. What if I hadn't accepted the opportunity to study in France in 2011?. And even more, what if my grand father had never come to Mexico City?. What if my father had never worked in Texcoco?. 

I guess we'll never know. Anyway, this summer I'm going back to Budapest for the Sziget music festival =):.

You're going to tell me that I'm right,
you're going to come back down,
and find yourself,
where you are again.

The winter sets in:.

No matter how much I write about you, I'll always fall short. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!


This is all of it,
this is everything.

J'veux profiter des gens qu'j'aime:.

I would like to write about those stupid gringos and how every time they have a massacre, like Columbine, Denver, Virginia and Newton, they say how broken their hearts are, how sorry they are for the innocence torned away too early, and how no words will ease the pain.

They forget to say that they brought this pain on themselves, by having very permissive laws regarding guns and such. And how the real problem is that they not only affect themselves, but also their neighbours and allies. For example, do you remember the infamous fast and furious operation, where the fucking gringos introduced illegal high caliber weapons to Mexico just to let narcos kill innocent people with them, well I do!. It seems that for those stupid gringos it's OK if some child in Mexico dies, so that some junkie in the US can have its dose. But if it's one of their own who dies, the whole world must mourn the lost of an innocent soul?...I say, nonsense!!.

I would like to continue ranting about that subject, but the truth is that I don't care. Tomorrow I'll be flying back home, to meet my family again. I'm really looking forward to see my parents, brothers and sisters, and specially, my grandparents. I know that things are not specially good health wise, but if there's something I've learned, is that if I'm ever going to be somebody in this life, I must listen and learn from those that came before me, and there's certainly no better example than that of my grand father, but that will be topic of another post. For now, I just want to spend time with those that matter the most to me, or like some might say, J’essaye le plus possible de voir mes grands-parents. J’me sens tellement feignant quand j’écoute leurs histoires du temps d’avant...

Au fond j'crois qu'la terre est ronde,
pour une seule bonne raison...
après avoir fait l'tour du monde,
tout c'qu'on veut c'est être à la maison...

And I wonder If you feel it too:.

Some years ago I attended a Microsoft recruiting talk, where a guy told us about how cool it was to be working among people who were not only experts in their field, but that had probably written the books you had read (and enjoyed) in college. To be honest, I found that idea quite interesting.

Fortunately, that's not the only way to meet these interesting guys. Just last week, I attended a conference where I had the chance to meet one of the authors of a classical distributed databases book. I don't know, but one of the things I like about the academic environment is that it precisely gives you the chance to work among this kind of people. You'll might never get to their level, but you'll surely learn a thing or two along the way.

Anyway, what did I enjoy the most about last week?. Well, meeting again some old colleagues, drinking wine in an old french castle, and running across a forest, with a loyal dog by my side =):.

If I go on with you by my side,
can it be the way it was when we met?.

Esta mañana blanca me acordé de ti:.

The more you grow old, the more you appreciate (and long) the experiences you had as a child. And I don't necessarily mean big events in your life, I'm talking about little details, like the type of bread you used to eat, some special drink, or even the places you saw on a daily basis. Things that at the moment don't seem very important, but that end up determining a big part of who you really are.

For me, one of those things is the amazing encaladillas, a type of sweet bread that is sold in my hometown to commemorate the departing of the dead. Trust me when I tell you there are few things in the world that can compare to the superb taste of a classic encaladilla =). Anyway, they are very popular and are only sold for a few weeks every year, so you must be prepared to fight to get one!!. 

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but I do remember that every year they became harder and harder to get. First, the increasing demand forced my good mother to stop by the bakery several times a day, to try and snatch the encaladillas before anyone else. However, many people did the same thing, and there were times when we wouldn't get anything at all...

Then, the bakery where they sold the original encaladillas changed (I think it was because the owner died, but I'm not really sure), and as a result it became even harder to get a decent supply of encaladillas every year. This was about the time I went to college, and ever since, I've eagerly waited for this time of the year to try again that delicacy of the (dead) gods!!. 

The encaladillas have always reminded me of simpler times. They remind me of a place where no matter how complicated things get, I can always call home. And if our stories are true, that's also the place where my essence will keep coming, long after I'm gone =):.

Es tu olor en mí,
en barrio de coyotes,
fuego siento en mí..

Something good:.

It had been a long time, but last weekend I watched the second and third parts of what's probably the best film series of all time, The Godfather. You know how I tend to say that we should always try to see things with a different perspective?, well, this time I followed my own advice.

Let me explain. I probably watched The Godfather: Part III ten years ago, and I still remember getting very angry with the way they were finishing this great story, even more, I remember leaving the room 10 minutes before the ending, because I thought I was witnessing one of the greatest rip-offs in the history of humankind!!.

But this weekend it all made sense. Of course the first two movies are master pieces, but the third one is not as bad as I remembered, it's actually pretty good. You have to keep in mind that it's really complicated to finish an excellent story, I'm looking at you The Dark Knight Rises, but as they say, eventually you realize that the past, even the grimy parts of it, keep on getting brighter. Anyway, this all reminded me of some experiences I've had, related to the Godfather story, and well, today I would like to share one of them. 

First of all, you have to know that my alma mater is renowned for two main things, both for its technical level and for its business-oriented nature. As a result, even if you're enrolled in a technical career, you must take several business courses. In general, I despise business, but the truth is that in some of these courses I learned some valuable lessons.

For example, one day a professor shared with us his particular understanding of The Godfather. He just asked a simple question: what's Godfather's real business?. He explained to us that more than anything, the Godfather was sort of a manager in a bank of favours. That is, he didn't really do any job, he just had people owing and asking favours from him. So, when he needed things done, he would just cash one of his favours, and in return he would get one more person owing him something.

Sounds simple, right?. The interesting part is that, even if we don't recognise it, we apply this same idea in our daily lives, and that professor taught us to be aware, and if possible, to take advantage of it. I won't go into details, but he explained how he used to analyse people, how he would gather information or try to gain little favours, so he could cash them later.

I didn't agree with many of these methods, but I have to admit that I still apply some of them. For example, I generally don't let people do me any favours, even small ones, or if they do, I return the favour as soon as possible. I like to think of it as politeness, but the truth is that I don't like owing anyone anything. There's just one exception, that is, my family and the people I really care about =):.

Get high, 
hit the floor, 
before you go.

No one’s gonna tell you when enough’s enough:.

There's a famous quote from The Dark Knight that reads, "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain", and something like that happened to me last night.

I organised a traditional night of blood and war to celebrate my 29th birthday. Nothing fancy, just some Call of Duty 2, chips, beers, and some friends from my laboratory. For a while I could tell that I was really (really!) rusty, but eventually it all came back!!. The rush of aiming, shooting, and running in that classical WW2 environment is just amazing. However, I soon realised that I had turned into the kind of player that I hated some years ago.

Let me explain. Back when I worked at Quarksoft, I used to play CoD2 every day or so in a nearby internet café, after the afternoon meal and just before going back to work. Those were the good times =). Usually it was only my work colleagues and me killing each other, but every once in a while we would get challenged by other guys, and well, we usually accepted just to save our honor!. Even if we didn't win, it wasn't a slaughter either, so we ended up having a good time.

Anyway, one day a young man, I'm guessing less than 14 years old, asked us to play with him, and this time, it was a real slaughter!. That guy was really good, he didn't need bullets to kill us, he would just kill everybody else with melee attacks. For those who don't know, this is kind of a humiliation!. After the fourth time in a row that you're killed that way, you get mad and just want it to stop, but can't do anything about it, because you're not in the same league as the other guy. I just hated the way that guy was taking advantage of all of us...

And yesterday, I was acting precisely like that guy!. I would just silently chase the other players and then suddenly shout "Turn around!, Turn around!!", and when they did, I would just kill them in that old melee style =). Sometimes, they decided to run, but they just delayed the inevitable, 99% of the times there was no way to scape my melee attack.

Was it fair? Yes. Was it funny? Yes. Did they hated me for doing that all night night long? Probably. But now I know how that 14 year old guy felt like some years ago =):.

And the clock kept ticking slowly,
and you leaned over and asked me,
if I even had a clue where I was.