I won't forget:.

To be honest, this last week was a rough one. I kept thinking about the futility of life, about how no matter how hard you try, or what you do, you're still going to die and lose memory of everything and everyone that you've ever met and care about...

So, what's next?. Well, enjoy life and make it pleasant for those that you care the most. In brief, I've decided that no matter what, next year I'll permanently go back home to spend quality time with my family and close friends (and who knows?, maybe even with that elusive special someone!). Maybe it's time for me to settle down, and what better way to do it than with those who really know who I am...

Maybe someday,
you'll be somewhere talking to me,
as if you knew me.

And all that I believe:.

About a year ago I was planning a very good trip across Europe with one of my sisters. Today I'm planning a new trip across The Netherlands, wondering whether I should give Sclerotia and Marihuana a try, or if I should just visit the countryside. I know I could've just easily tried these products locally (both in Mexico and in France), but as with many things in life, the important factor here is quality (and one might even say legality, but that's a topic for another post).

About a year ago, I could still talk about this with my grandfather. Today, I just wake up shivering in the middle of the night.


I won't deny the pain, 
I won't deny the change .

I feel my skin:.

Besides programming, music is one of the things I like the most!. Lucky for me, I've always lived in places where people with musical tastes similar to mine, program little concerts. Back in Texcoco it was Finca La Colorada, in Mexico city it was El Plaza Condesa, Lunario and Polyforum Siqueiros; in Barcelona it was Cafè de les delícies, and now in Grenoble, La Bobine!. Truth be told, I've not always had money to attend the concerts, in fact, I specially regret not seeing Broken Social Scene back in 2010, in Mexico city, but given the chance, I always try to go to these places to try and enjoy promising bands.

Anyway, yesterday I saw a particularly interesting band, Nue sur le Bitume, that reminded me of why I go to these concerts. They give me the chance to listen to pure music, no commercial attachments, no weird baggage, only music essence!!. It might not always pay off, but you always have the chance to see the next Hello Seahorse!, Facto Delafé, Bombay Bicycle Club, or even, the next Phoenix. Just like in Mad Men, when they have the chance to see Bob Dylan or The Rolling Stones at the beginning of their career!.

I'm not necessarily saying that these new bands are in that league, but at least I have the opportunity to recognise them while they're still true to themselves =):.

They say,
that I'm not for you.

Now you know who you are again:.

About a month ago I was talking with my family about how different our lives would be if we had taken different decisions at key points in our lives. There was no consensus, but one of the main ideas was that it's not always easy to identify these key points in your life. That is, you can only identify these moments long after you've experienced them, so in the end there's no need to worry about them, you just have to enjoy life in the best way you can =):.

Anyway, during these conversations I put myself as an example. Back in 2004 I was enrolled in a University that highly encouraged to study abroad during your career, and so, in the verge of my last year at school I tried to enroll in a 6-month program in a canadian university. However, due to some last-minute administrative problems I couldn't complete the process.

I remember being quite annoyed at the time, because I thought that it would be my last opportunity to study abroad during my bachelor degree. But just a few weeks later, my University published a new opportunity to spend the summer in Budapest, working in artificial intelligence (AI) and web application development. To be honest, I didn't know much about Budapest or AI, but I did recognise that this would be my last opportunity to study outside Mexico for a long time, and I signed up as quickly as I could!. This experience opened my eyes (both in a professional and in a personal way), and I remember saying that I would do everything I could to go back to Europe in the future.

I finished my bachelor degree and went to work at a good company in Mexico city. But then the time came where I felt I needed more challenges and started looking for new opportunities. I saw this particularly interesting job offer in the school system, to work in Spain, and applied right away, though I knew it would be really difficult for me to get the job. Surprisingly, the company contacted me for an interview.

The interesting part is that I refused to go to the interview!. I called them back and told them that I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave my job and that I didn't want them to waste their time. The Human Resources person could have just said that it was OK, but she insisted so strongly that in the end I accepted to go to the interview (Actually, it was her pledge, and me remembering my stay in Budapest the last year). In the end I got the job, and went to Spain for a couple of years.

I don't know, at that time I had a relationship that could've turned into something really serious, so it makes me wonder what kind of life would I be living if I had stayed in Mexico 6-7 years ago. The truth is that it doesn't really matter now. Due to my spanish experience I decided that I eventually wanted to go back to Europe (again!), which I did back just a few years later.

What would have happened if had studied in Canada in 2004?. What if Sherinny hadn't being with me during the summer of 2005?. What if I had turned down the spanish job in 2006?. What if I hadn't accepted the opportunity to study in France in 2011?. And even more, what if my grand father had never come to Mexico City?. What if my father had never worked in Texcoco?. 

I guess we'll never know. Anyway, this summer I'm going back to Budapest for the Sziget music festival =):.

You're going to tell me that I'm right,
you're going to come back down,
and find yourself,
where you are again.

The winter sets in:.

No matter how much I write about you, I'll always fall short. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!


This is all of it,
this is everything.

J'veux profiter des gens qu'j'aime:.

I would like to write about those stupid gringos and how every time they have a massacre, like Columbine, Denver, Virginia and Newton, they say how broken their hearts are, how sorry they are for the innocence torned away too early, and how no words will ease the pain.

They forget to say that they brought this pain on themselves, by having very permissive laws regarding guns and such. And how the real problem is that they not only affect themselves, but also their neighbours and allies. For example, do you remember the infamous fast and furious operation, where the fucking gringos introduced illegal high caliber weapons to Mexico just to let narcos kill innocent people with them, well I do!. It seems that for those stupid gringos it's OK if some child in Mexico dies, so that some junkie in the US can have its dose. But if it's one of their own who dies, the whole world must mourn the lost of an innocent soul?...I say, nonsense!!.

I would like to continue ranting about that subject, but the truth is that I don't care. Tomorrow I'll be flying back home, to meet my family again. I'm really looking forward to see my parents, brothers and sisters, and specially, my grandparents. I know that things are not specially good health wise, but if there's something I've learned, is that if I'm ever going to be somebody in this life, I must listen and learn from those that came before me, and there's certainly no better example than that of my grand father, but that will be topic of another post. For now, I just want to spend time with those that matter the most to me, or like some might say, J’essaye le plus possible de voir mes grands-parents. J’me sens tellement feignant quand j’écoute leurs histoires du temps d’avant...

Au fond j'crois qu'la terre est ronde,
pour une seule bonne raison...
après avoir fait l'tour du monde,
tout c'qu'on veut c'est être à la maison...

And I wonder If you feel it too:.

Some years ago I attended a Microsoft recruiting talk, where a guy told us about how cool it was to be working among people who were not only experts in their field, but that had probably written the books you had read (and enjoyed) in college. To be honest, I found that idea quite interesting.

Fortunately, that's not the only way to meet these interesting guys. Just last week, I attended a conference where I had the chance to meet one of the authors of a classical distributed databases book. I don't know, but one of the things I like about the academic environment is that it precisely gives you the chance to work among this kind of people. You'll might never get to their level, but you'll surely learn a thing or two along the way.

Anyway, what did I enjoy the most about last week?. Well, meeting again some old colleagues, drinking wine in an old french castle, and running across a forest, with a loyal dog by my side =):.

If I go on with you by my side,
can it be the way it was when we met?.