No one’s gonna tell you when enough’s enough:.

There's a famous quote from The Dark Knight that reads, "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain", and something like that happened to me last night.

I organised a traditional night of blood and war to celebrate my 29th birthday. Nothing fancy, just some Call of Duty 2, chips, beers, and some friends from my laboratory. For a while I could tell that I was really (really!) rusty, but eventually it all came back!!. The rush of aiming, shooting, and running in that classical WW2 environment is just amazing. However, I soon realised that I had turned into the kind of player that I hated some years ago.

Let me explain. Back when I worked at Quarksoft, I used to play CoD2 every day or so in a nearby internet café, after the afternoon meal and just before going back to work. Those were the good times =). Usually it was only my work colleagues and me killing each other, but every once in a while we would get challenged by other guys, and well, we usually accepted just to save our honor!. Even if we didn't win, it wasn't a slaughter either, so we ended up having a good time.

Anyway, one day a young man, I'm guessing less than 14 years old, asked us to play with him, and this time, it was a real slaughter!. That guy was really good, he didn't need bullets to kill us, he would just kill everybody else with melee attacks. For those who don't know, this is kind of a humiliation!. After the fourth time in a row that you're killed that way, you get mad and just want it to stop, but can't do anything about it, because you're not in the same league as the other guy. I just hated the way that guy was taking advantage of all of us...

And yesterday, I was acting precisely like that guy!. I would just silently chase the other players and then suddenly shout "Turn around!, Turn around!!", and when they did, I would just kill them in that old melee style =). Sometimes, they decided to run, but they just delayed the inevitable, 99% of the times there was no way to scape my melee attack.

Was it fair? Yes. Was it funny? Yes. Did they hated me for doing that all night night long? Probably. But now I know how that 14 year old guy felt like some years ago =):.

And the clock kept ticking slowly,
and you leaned over and asked me,
if I even had a clue where I was.

I'm on it:.

Today I had an interesting conversation with my laboratory colleagues, regarding the main motivations in life. Not surprisingly, we discovered that we all value different (different!) things in our own lives.  For some, the main motivation is money, for others it's love or health, but for me, it's definitely freedom!!. 

However, I learned long ago that freedom is really expensive, and that not everybody is willing to pay the price to get it. Even me, I know that I'm not really free, at least not as long as I don't get rid of some addictions, but as I told one of my colleagues today, the first step of achieving a goal, is to know what your goal is...

The conversation went from philosophical questions, such as this, to more practical stuff, such as, where are you going to live?, and what are you going to eat, if you have no money to spare!?. 

Nonetheless, I still think that the only thing that matters in life is to be able to be master of your own decisions, or like William Ernest Henley would say, to be master of your own fate, to be captain of your own soul!. I don't know, maybe I say these things because I think that after all, we are all going to die the same way we were born: alone and without nothing to hold on to...

So, just enjoy life while you can, with the people that mater the most to you right now =):.

We're gonna live it up,
I promise,
just hold on a little more.

No te echaré de menos en septiembre:.

Like most of my generation, I had my first lessons about nationalism while being forced to both, sing the mexican anthem, and salute our flag every monday morning...for at least 12 years!!. As a result, every time I listen to the mexican anthem I can't help but feel a lump in my throat, and a tear sliding down my cheek =). 

However, ever since I was a teenager I decided that if I ever felt like crying, it would be for something I decided myself, not because of something that had been programmed in me. And so, my quest for something to cry for began...

I first tried girls, but I soon realised that very few people outside your family deserve any consideration at all. Soon enough, life gave me the reason, and I first realised what it meant to never see one beloved member of your family again...The following times were all family related, but some years ago I also discovered the effect that music had in me, and it changed my life!. Long story short, I tend to remember the last 10-15 years of my life not by events or people, but by the music that I liked at the time!. 

And why do I tell this?. Well, there are some bands that don't speak not me, but to my core, and that sometimes make me feel so overwhelmed, that I can't help but feel a tear sliding down my cheek!. Last week I saw two of these bands live, Sigur Rós and Beach House, and for a moment, I just felt...I dont' know...happy =)...

However, I also kept thinking that this kind of experiences are meant to be shared with someone you (really!) care about. However difficult it is, I'm still looking for that special someone that could appreciate these little things, the way I do...

Será como aquella canción de los años 80,

seré como el tipo que algún día fui.

Á lífi:.

A (little bit of) life in music:

1996, I discover what great music sounds like (Bee Gees).

1997, My first rock concert (U2).

1998, I saw my favorite band of the time, at their top of their game (Oasis).

...

2008, Best catalan band ever (Facto Delafé y las Flores Azules).

2009, Best concert with last-minute tickets (The Killers, Hello Seahorse!).

2010, Dreaming with music! (Beach House).

2010, I discover what a music festival feels like (Corona Capital).

2011, I let myself dance freely (Vive Latino: Chemical Brothers).

2012, I got off a transatlantic flight, to go directly to a concert hall (Bombay Bicycle Club).

...

2012, The first concert that has made me cry (Rock en Seine: Sigur Rós).

Kominn heim.

What about breakfast at Tiffany's?:.

A year ago I was on my way to a new life experience in France, and now that I'm about to start my second year in this land, I think it's a good time to make some reflections...

I have to admit that my previous knowledge of this country, and its culture, was rather limited. I did have some background information, mainly from an old Simpsons' episode and from a couple of weekend getaways. To be fair, I also had some mythical stories from the time my uncle studied here, back in the late 1980's. But to be really honest, I didn't know much about the country where I was supposed to live for the next three years of my life...

Anyway, I came to Grenoble, and I'm happy to admit that I don't regret it...I don't regret it at all!. I've had the chance to meet great people from all around the world. From renowned researchers, to humble PhD students, like me. From people from places as familiar as Puebla, to colleagues from the distant Cameroon and Brazil. I got the chance to visit one of my favorite countries, the mythical Hungary, and a beautiful nordic country, Danemark. But must of all, during these visits I had the chance to meet great colleagues from the software maintenance and model-driven engineering communities. 

You know, what I like the most is that you're no longer competing against some colleagues in a classroom, you're really competing against some of the brightest minds from all around the world!. Of course, it's not easy, we've already had some drawbacks (particularly some rejected papers), but that's what makes this new experience so interesting...

One final remark, during this year, both my alcohol tolerance and my love for films has increased dramatically, and I intend to keep it that way...=):.

She said, "I think I remember the film,
and as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it..."
and I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got!".

Just to know that you are near:.

A few months ago I watched The Tree of Life, and I remember saying, WTF is this shit?. I know that it's kind of a heresy to admit it, but something similar happened to me the first time I watched Pulp Fiction and The Big Lebowsky (though these films are in a complete different league!).  

Anyway, I'm telling this story because in a conversation I had with some friends last week, I was arguing that some movies need to be experienced more than once, before you barely start appreciating their beauty. Maybe the first time(s) you're in a bad mood, you don't have good companionship, the environment is not good, or you just don't have the necessary life experience. The tragedy is that we tend to judge things based only on the first experience.

And how did the topic come into discussion?. Well, there's a long tradition in some european cities to project movies in open air during hot summer nights, and Grenoble is a proud member of that tradition. So, last week's movie was The Tree of Life, and despite my previous experience, I decided to give it a try!. Maybe it was the 8.4° beer, the warm summer night, the freedom of my new MétroVélo bike, or something else, but this time I really liked the movie!.

I know this phenomenon is not exclusive of movies, but since almost everything I know I had learned through movies or tv series, this is something I can easily relate to =):.

To get through,
to the man in me.

If we're looking in the dark:.

I could tell you about the madness that these last weeks have been, including the search for a new place to live in, cleaning and moving out from my old apartment, updating a project just in time for its presentation, losing each and every one of the football games we played this season (and not only that, but also losing our only ball in the deeps of the Rhône river), getting all my clothes wet during my flight to another country, and having to explain to a german custom officer how I managed to get into some airport restricted area...

But no, I'll just tell you about how I got the chance to meet some legendary model-driven stars, in an european modeling conference. Moreover, it was really interesting to meet again some colleagues from the software maintenance community, and to see the relatively high interest that some industry folks have in this type of events. One final remark, once again informal conversations (5-10 min) seemed to be way more effective than formal conference talks. All in all, an excellent way to start this summer!!:.

No one's gonna find any answers,
if we're just trying to hide, 
from the things we know inside, 
are the truth.