Jusqu'à la fin:.

I believe that there are things in our lives that somehow define who we are, and that we cannot stop trying to experience over and over again. And in the last couple of weeks I faced some of these special things for me: software maintenance, a visit to the mythical Hungary and a backpacking experience (with musical background!).

I visited Budapest for the fourth time in my life, and I can happily say that it still offers me new and amazing things to do. This time it was excellent local cuisine, history lessons, forgotten views, and of course, the Sziget music festival. Though the musical level might not have been as good as other renowned european festivals, it was still worth the trip, if only to experience a true festival tradition of beer, music and non-sleeping for over a week!. To be honest, the non-sleeping part was not so much because of non-stop partying, but because I'm probably leaving that part of my life behind... 

Anyway, the festival was also special because I had the chance to meet again and old friend from Mexico. We shared both good and not-so-good experiences (oh, my feet!), but actually that's what these trips are for: to have some tales to share when you meet again and get a laugh or two at them =).

The musical background was so good this time because it spanned through different key moments in my life, and somehow allowed me to connect with others around me. I'm talking about listening to Blur, and having a flashback to 1998 when I used to listen over and over a live version of Country House in one of my brother's old cassettes. Then another flashback to 2000's new year's eve when I listened to The Universal (in one of my brother's CDs) while waiting for my parents to come back from their shopping. Or the time I tried to decipher Girls and Boys, or when I felt Tender was such a good song that it deserved to be played continuously!. 

Anyway, though I liked Blur while growing up, they weren't my favourite band, that would be Oasis. But what I've felt with the passing of time is that Oasis' songs may not have aged as well as I'd have hoped. Maybe I'm saying nonsense, and when I hear them live again I'll go crazy, but I'm ranting about all this because before Blur played in the festival I had the chance to talk with the people around me (some guys from Denmark and another one from England) and they had the same thoughts as me!, with similar flashbacks!, and with very similar Britpop tastes, one of them even say that it was like listening to his childhood all over again. Meeting people so similar to you is always interesting =).

And finally, I'm really thankful to the software maintenance community because they found interesting some of my current work, and I'll have the chance to discuss it with them next month, while visiting another mythical place =).

And it looks like we might have made it, 
yes, it looks like we've made it to the end.

Don't stop believing:.

I can only hope that our generation sees a series finale as good as The Sopranos:.
In other words, Breaking Bad - Mad Men - Game of Thrones - Homeland, please, don't let me down!!:.


Some will win, some will lose,
some were born to sing the blues.

I want to dream:.

Sometimes I wake up at night wondering, what the f**k am I doing here?. I know that my future is not in the academia, so why do I keep pursuing a PhD?. And honestly, I usually have a hard time convincing myself to finish what I started.

And I'm not the only one asking this question. Through my academic experience I've seen people asking themselves this same question, at the beginning, middle and late parts of their PhDs. Usually people decide to continue, just to make worth the time they already spent working towards this objective, though they're convinced that their results will not improve science at all, or if they do, it will be in a minuscular (insignificant) scale. In brief, they just want the (Dr.) title, and I've never been someone looking for titles....

In my case, most of my publications are due to tools I've built to prove points that I think the research community might find interesting, but when they don't, I must start thinking about what I'm doing with my life. Maybe it's time for me to gather up courage and go back to the real software engineering world...

I honestly don't know, but at least today I sent a paper to its final evaluation, hopefully the result will help me decide what I'll be doing with my life next year!!:.

I'm dying. 
Is it blissful? 
It's like a dream.

I won’t come near:.

If there's anything I know is that I've always been, I am, and I'll always be an engineer!. Thus, I know that my mind works by looking for interesting problems and then by trying to solve them. The solutions I come up with might not always be the best or the shiniest, but I'm sure that they can help solve the problem.

And why am I telling this?. Well, for the last years I've been involved in the academic world, and though I usually like it, I must admit that sometimes it's just frustrating!. Let me explain: I usually start by looking for interesting problems, then I look for related work to know what other people have proposed to solve that problem, and then I try to improve on those solutions, naturally, by building a tool that proves my point.

The problem is that it's not that easy to show your humble results to the academic community. Every time you submit a paper describing your results, you must pass the classic test of (at least) three reviewers. You might think that you have interesting results to show, you might even convince a reviewer or two of the importance of your work, but the truth is that most of the times your work will be rejected.

And the worst part is that by reading the proceedings of the conferences where you were rejected, you'll find accepted papers that have the same faults as your humble rejected paper. They may not even make their tools available, so you don't really know if what they're talking about really works or not, but then you look at the authors list (and at the program committee) and you understand why the paper was accepted.

However, I must admit that rejection can be useful sometimes. For example, now I'm preparing a new version of a paper that was previously rejected, and with all the things that we've added so far, I can tell that this time we have a real chance to being accepted...who am I kidding?, the truth is that you never know =)...

Teach me to burn, 
teach me to speak.

Back back way back:.

This week I witnessed the end of an era: the last episode of The Office, one of my favourite TV series of all times!. Just as I feared a couple of years ago the show didn't last long after Michael Scott's departure, but to be honest, it was a good time for the series to come to an end, specially considering that since an excellent third season finale the show entered into a slow decline from which it could never recover. 

Still, we'll always have real gems like that mythical fire safety drill, an epic second season finale, realistic call of duty matches, classic Jim and Dwight pranks, an excellent Emmy's skit, and of course, that emotional goodbye between Michael and Jim, just to mention a few. 

Like it or not, it's time to move on!.

The gloves are off,
the wisdom teeth are out,
what you on about?.

To pull me to my feet again:.

Do you remember that great scene from Waltz with Bashir where a guy transcends himself in the middle of a battle?. Well, it's been a while since I felt like that myself and, to be honest, I don't like it, so in the hope of changing this situation I resorted to a flawless remedy: a nice trip!!.

I went to the Netherlands for a week to celebrate the last Queen's day. Overall, it was a great experience. I really liked the views (water canals everywhere!), the food (amazing Gouda cheese!), the bicycle-friendly environment, the open-minded culture, and all the beautiful girls around the country!. I had started to feel empty, and I needed new experiences to feel renewed for my second half of the PhD, specially if I'm to finish on time, with the final goal of going back to Mexico at the end of next year!.

Though I can't say that I'm completely renewed, I certainly feel a lot better. What I can testify is that maybe my time of traveling in backpacking-style is coming to an end, as well as my classic long walks that end up with torn up socks =). Anyway, if I learned anything on this trip it was that Marihuana and alcohol don't mix, but that's a topic for another post...

But I feel, 
I feel no shame.

To get lucky:.

The best part of my day is when I talk with my parents and my little sister at night, and every week I also try to talk with my brother, my big sister and my grandmother, to complete the cycle =). Truth be told, I've always found it difficult to connect with people outside my family, but every once in a while that changes.

For example, last week I had two excellent experiences with my laboratory colleagues. First, we played a laser game, and I must admit that I loved it!!. All my CoD experience finally paid off, and I was just acting like a natural born killer. Like I always say, that rush of aiming, shooting, and running in a classical WW2 environment is just amazing =):.

The second event was last weekend, when we had a night of food, wine and dance to celebrate that Spring has finally come to Grenoble!!. I really enjoyed our time together, even the dance, which I'm not usually fond of =). And maybe the best part is that all this helps me distract from my current dilemma about the futility of life:. 

Like the legend of the phoenix,
our ends were beginnings.