A real human being:.

Do you remember that great song from Keane where they say that it's OK to be full of hope as you begin rearranging the pieces of the dreams that you have?. Well, I'd like to believe that I'm going through one of those phases now.

Let me explain. Some weeks ago I met someone with whom I have many things in common, and as you probably know, this is not something that happens often to me, but when it does, it's really interesting!. What I specially like is how we can talk about nothing and all, and still have those aha moments that make you feel that you're connecting with somebody else.

I don't know, but for sometime now I've come to look for stability in my life and people to share it with. Without imposing any particular role or anything, it's always good to meet someone who appreciates the little things, the way you do.

Let's all meet up five years from now and see where we stand, but at least for now, I'm having a pretty good time with you =).

Back against the wall and odds,
with the strength of a will and a cause.

Come and meet me tomorrow:.

After much thought, today I'd like to talk about female/male chauvinism, a very controversial topic in software engineering, and by doing so I know that I'm exposing myself to hate and ill will from radical internet groups, but I don't really care...

I'd like to start by saying that ever since I was little, I noticed that females receive different treatment from society, and I didn't think this treatment was fair at all. For example, as a kid there were times when I found myself troubled by some female children, and while trying to get back at them, I was told by grown-ups that I couldn't fight back, just because my opponents were girls!!. Apparently, they deserved some special treatment just because of their sex, but I didn't really understand. My thinking was: if they can attack, they surely can defend. But other people (both boys and girls) seem to have this differentiated treatments seared by fire. And this is just a little example of the differentiated treatments that you are taught while growing up. It may seem trivial, but the problem is that by accepting these special treatments, you are denying to consider all people as equal...

Of course, this has brought me problems, but I'd like to argue that I just try not to make special considerations for anybody!.

I believe that, at least in my culture, this is due to flaws in the way we are currently raised. For the most part, in our junior years we are taught to expect/receive special treatments, and then we grow up and expect to keep them while continuously asking for more benefits. I've previously discussed some of these things, like they way you're expected to greet somebody, but it's funny that a couple of weeks ago I had a similar conversation (with people from disparate corners of the world) regarding things such as buying things in a market and flirting. We talked about how there are certain protocols that we expect and accept as the natural order of things (usually due to our sex) and it's interesting that you only notice them when you get out of your natural context, for example, when you interact with other cultures.

And I don't pretend to be innocent here. During these conversations I also found myself repeating some male chauvinist ideas that I'm not really proud of. There's definitely much to be done, but by reflecting on these topics, and by trying to change my own behaviour, I like to think that I'm doing my best to help improve this world for those who will come after I leave =):.

I know we've got nothing in common now,
Just our shared love of drinking.

All things go:.

Exactly two years ago I was packing to come live in France, so today it feels like a good time for me to stop for a little while and reflect on all the things that I've had the chance to experience last year in this strange land.

To be honest, I passed through dark times, and I even questioned my purpose in life and whether or not I should continue pursuing my current objectives. Maybe it was because I was close to my 30th anniversary (a key milestone in anyone's life), me getting in contact with altered states of mind, or perhaps just plain depression, but what matters the most is that in the end I decided to continue, both because I like what I do (and the freedom it gives me!), and because of the people I have the chance to meet and work with.

Anyway, just as last year, the most important part of this year was interacting with (and learning from) people from all around the world. And that's huge for me, because many years ago I didn't think that would be possible, but luckily for me, time has proved me wrong!. 

And you know what?,  it's funny that I'm not the only one saying goodbye to an era!. A lot of my favourite TV series decided to say goodbye this year, particularly, Breaking Bad, Futurama, The IT Crowd and The Office. Maybe I should just take this as a sign and start moving forward from the virtual to the real world...well, just maybe, but that will definitely be the topic of another post =):.

It was for freedom,
from myself and from the land.

Si te vas, porque creo que lo harás:.

If there's anything I enjoy, that's the start and end of eras, and in the last couple of weeks I've been fortunate enough to witness a couple of these events. First, Futurama's series finale, and most importantly, my brother's wedding =). 

Funny enough, both events had many things in common, and without spoiling the episode, I'll just say that the future will always be bright for those who find love and companionship in this cruel world...actually, you know what? f**k it!, let's spoil this last episode a little bit: it will probably make you cry, just like previous epic episodes where you were reminded of the absurdity of the past/present/future, leaving you with the only option of enjoying life for as long as you can... 

And to be honest, both events have made me rethink my future in the short and medium terms, but that will be topic of another post...

Si te quedas, 
por encima de tanta letra y pirueta,
es para mejorar!.

Jusqu'à la fin:.

I believe that there are things in our lives that somehow define who we are, and that we cannot stop trying to experience over and over again. And in the last couple of weeks I faced some of these special things for me: software maintenance, a visit to the mythical Hungary and a backpacking experience (with musical background!).

I visited Budapest for the fourth time in my life, and I can happily say that it still offers me new and amazing things to do. This time it was excellent local cuisine, history lessons, forgotten views, and of course, the Sziget music festival. Though the musical level might not have been as good as other renowned european festivals, it was still worth the trip, if only to experience a true festival tradition of beer, music and non-sleeping for over a week!. To be honest, the non-sleeping part was not so much because of non-stop partying, but because I'm probably leaving that part of my life behind... 

Anyway, the festival was also special because I had the chance to meet again and old friend from Mexico. We shared both good and not-so-good experiences (oh, my feet!), but actually that's what these trips are for: to have some tales to share when you meet again and get a laugh or two at them =).

The musical background was so good this time because it spanned through different key moments in my life, and somehow allowed me to connect with others around me. I'm talking about listening to Blur, and having a flashback to 1998 when I used to listen over and over a live version of Country House in one of my brother's old cassettes. Then another flashback to 2000's new year's eve when I listened to The Universal (in one of my brother's CDs) while waiting for my parents to come back from their shopping. Or the time I tried to decipher Girls and Boys, or when I felt Tender was such a good song that it deserved to be played continuously!. 

Anyway, though I liked Blur while growing up, they weren't my favourite band, that would be Oasis. But what I've felt with the passing of time is that Oasis' songs may not have aged as well as I'd have hoped. Maybe I'm saying nonsense, and when I hear them live again I'll go crazy, but I'm ranting about all this because before Blur played in the festival I had the chance to talk with the people around me (some guys from Denmark and another one from England) and they had the same thoughts as me!, with similar flashbacks!, and with very similar Britpop tastes, one of them even say that it was like listening to his childhood all over again. Meeting people so similar to you is always interesting =).

And finally, I'm really thankful to the software maintenance community because they found interesting some of my current work, and I'll have the chance to discuss it with them next month, while visiting another mythical place =).

And it looks like we might have made it, 
yes, it looks like we've made it to the end.

Don't stop believing:.

I can only hope that our generation sees a series finale as good as The Sopranos:.
In other words, Breaking Bad - Mad Men - Game of Thrones - Homeland, please, don't let me down!!:.


Some will win, some will lose,
some were born to sing the blues.

I want to dream:.

Sometimes I wake up at night wondering, what the f**k am I doing here?. I know that my future is not in the academia, so why do I keep pursuing a PhD?. And honestly, I usually have a hard time convincing myself to finish what I started.

And I'm not the only one asking this question. Through my academic experience I've seen people asking themselves this same question, at the beginning, middle and late parts of their PhDs. Usually people decide to continue, just to make worth the time they already spent working towards this objective, though they're convinced that their results will not improve science at all, or if they do, it will be in a minuscular (insignificant) scale. In brief, they just want the (Dr.) title, and I've never been someone looking for titles....

In my case, most of my publications are due to tools I've built to prove points that I think the research community might find interesting, but when they don't, I must start thinking about what I'm doing with my life. Maybe it's time for me to gather up courage and go back to the real software engineering world...

I honestly don't know, but at least today I sent a paper to its final evaluation, hopefully the result will help me decide what I'll be doing with my life next year!!:.

I'm dying. 
Is it blissful? 
It's like a dream.