I want to dream:.

Sometimes I wake up at night wondering, what the f**k am I doing here?. I know that my future is not in the academia, so why do I keep pursuing a PhD?. And honestly, I usually have a hard time convincing myself to finish what I started.

And I'm not the only one asking this question. Through my academic experience I've seen people asking themselves this same question, at the beginning, middle and late parts of their PhDs. Usually people decide to continue, just to make worth the time they already spent working towards this objective, though they're convinced that their results will not improve science at all, or if they do, it will be in a minuscular (insignificant) scale. In brief, they just want the (Dr.) title, and I've never been someone looking for titles....

In my case, most of my publications are due to tools I've built to prove points that I think the research community might find interesting, but when they don't, I must start thinking about what I'm doing with my life. Maybe it's time for me to gather up courage and go back to the real software engineering world...

I honestly don't know, but at least today I sent a paper to its final evaluation, hopefully the result will help me decide what I'll be doing with my life next year!!:.

I'm dying. 
Is it blissful? 
It's like a dream.